Methodology: I will judge the dish on its appearance, texture, amount, price, components, and taste. I then will rate the dish from 1-5 stars. I will say the servers are always kind and attentive to the restaurant clientele. In the times I have eaten there, it was always a positive experience. This was a takeout order.
If you will please indulge me for a bit, I promise you will be awed by my candor, as well as being entertained. Because of my recent dental implants, firm foods are a no-no. The bone fuses with the titanium over the course of a year. I tried to eat pizza last month, but the crust was too firm. I have been watching Hell’s Kitchen on Peacock TV and I am up to season 11 out of the 20 available. In one of the episodes, flatbread pizzas were on the menu for the dinner service. Up to that time, I was unaware of flatbread pizzas. So far, I’ve learned to make risotto and purées from watching this series.
I must say, Hell’s Kitchen is very entertaining. And because I’m watching it online, I get to hear Gordon Ramsey swear at the contestants. In one episode he called a woman a dumb C! I thought WOW, that’s too much! And then he peppered other women with the C-word too! Someone must have told Ramsey he had gone too far because he hasn’t said the C-word since. I do understand it is theater, but I can see that Ramsey gets genuinely upset at the contestants’ incompetency.
I play a game in which I pretend how many people the kitchen kills. In aviation, a mechanic performs a task. He/She then asks another mechanic to check the work. Then the Lead mechanic also checks the work. Lastly, a quality control person also checks the work. Because of this system, nearly all airplane crashes are the result of pilot error. I myself have had 17 aircrafts crash after I had performed maintenance on them during my career. Three of which were mid-air collisions.
The most heartbreaking crash for me was when I was working at an air-freight carrier named Union Flights. I had just finished my paperwork and given my friend, Lynn, the okay to depart. Two hours later, he failed to respond to the flight-following service. Lynn flew into a mountainside in whiteout conditions at night. Lynn had failed to reset his altimeter. Lynn was just 40 feet short of clearing the summit. It gets even worse, they recovered Lynn’s body. A company plane flew it to the shop where a vehicle waited to take Lynn’s body to the funeral home. I and another person were asked to transfer the body from the airplane to the funeral vehicle. Lynn’s body was packed in ice, which was melting, within a coroner bag. With the addition of the ice, the body bag was nearly too heavy for two people to carry. Water diluted blood dripped from the bag and on both of us. It really shook me up. I told the owner’s son that I was too upset to complete my shift. He said, “Mark, pilots die, that’s the cost of doing business.” Shortly thereafter, I found other employment. I still bear the scars from that event of thirty-two years ago. I wept to write it.
Back to my Hell’s Kitchen game; Ramsey is the quality control person. Every time raw/undercooked chicken makes it to the diners, I imagine that raw chicken is the “Jesus” bolt that wasn’t installed properly on an airliner. A “Jesus” item on an aircraft is a component that will cause a crash if it is not installed correctly, and thus, the passengers will go to see Jesus. It is unknown to me as to if there are Muhammad components on airplanes. So far, in 11 seasons raw chicken has made its way to the diners 5 times! And of course, I imagined airliners that are 747s for my game.
Things that I have noticed about Gordon Ramsey and Hell’s Kitchen. Heavy people never win. Ramsey will call men fat, but not women. Calling women the C-word is fine, but to refer to their excess poundage is out of bounds is hilarious to me. Ramsey will tell men, if you would lose a few pounds, you would move faster. Another thing is the lack of control over the biases of the taste judges. Ninety-nine percent of the team dish challenges end up in a tie with the last two dishes deciding the challenge. I’m no mathematician, but I know that’s a statistical impossibility. The want for suspense does destroy the creditability of the contest. The two teams should be in another room watching the judges on a camera feed. Gordon Ramsey and the other judges should not know from which team the dishes came from. The same holds for the final dishes challenge between the final two contestants. It always ends in a tie with two dishes with the third dish making the decision.
Without any further ado, my review of this flatbread pizza.
The delivered pizza appearance was a sight to behold. The menu picture is awful in comparison. The aroma was inviting. All of the ingredients were fresh. The bread crust of this flatbread pizza was soft, which made it easy for me to eat with my implants. The taste was very agreeable. I tried to not compare it to a Round Table pizza. You can see from the picture that for $15 that the pizza is a good value. My wife and I made this pizza stretch for three meals. Somehow, I got cheated out of the center square. This flatbread pizza earns 4 and 1/2 stars.
Published by Chief Editor, Sammy Campbell. Written by Mark Pullen.