Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace Review: A Galaxy of Absurdity, Kid Exploitation, and Systemic Dysfunction. Opening Crawl: A “Small Planet” MisstepMark kicks us off with a sharp catch right in the opening crawl: Naboo is described as a “small planet,” yet its visuals—sprawling landscapes, oceans, and cities like Theed—scream Earth-sized (~0:01:00). Mark … Continue reading Grok & Mark review: The Phantom Menace.